Rebuilding Life One Step at a Time

 



No amount of financial planning can prepare you for the tragedies life can dole out.  Whether it’s the death of a loved one, an end to a relationship or marriage, your status can unexpectedly change from “We” to “I”. 

Friends of mine recently experienced a tragedy with the unexpected death of Paulette’s husband, Dick.   The day of his heart attack, the couple was preparing to celebrate their 50^th wedding anniversary and Paulette’s 70^th birthday with family and friends. A joyous celebration changed in a moment’s notice to grief.  The least expected happened suddenly without any warning.  In mere seconds, grief shattered plans and dreams of a life together.

I am not a grief counsellor so I can only speak from experience that you need time to mourn before you can move on. Time will be a friend allowing faith to heal the pain and rebuild a life with new dreams.

Ruth, a dear friend who lost her husband on the threshold of her 51st birthday, shared this quote.  “Grief never ends but it changes.  It’s not a place to stay. The sense of loss must give way if we’re to value the life that was lived.” {~~Lois Wyse}  Eventually, on your own terms, you will find new ground to map your path. You need to go on living because there’s still so much good you can do. 

In the interim, you have to be careful not to make sudden changes. Some changes can result in everlasting regrets, both financially and emotionally. A client remarried within a year of his spouse’s death only to realize that he wasn’t ready to build a new life with another person.

During times of grief, your vision may be clouded so be extremely cautious of well-intended advice. A client entrusted her deceased spouse’s insurance money to an advisor. The investment was inappropriate, resulting in a financial loss.  She felt devastated by both losses, the death of her husband and the demise of her investment.         

In the life-changing days of your new “I” status, move ever so slowly and cautiously. Muster strength to get through one hour and one day at a time surrounding yourself with family and friends for support.  Build a network of trusted professionals as discussed in last week’s blog, Building Your Dream Team. AND only when you are ready, use the worksheet below to define new goals for yourself.

There aren’t enough bandages to cover the wounds created by death or a divorce.  The healing begins as one pushes through the pain and sadness in those raw moments. I came across the message below which provided hope for a brighter tomorrow during my darkness days.  These same words may comfort others afflicted with life’s tragedies.    

“Faith, at the very least asks us to believe this.  The path to heaven runs through suffering.  Through the sorrow of the world, through that certain fog of doubt and pain, we have faith, sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see.  God is love. God is in control. God will wipe away every tear and replace it with a river of joy.” {~~Deforia Lane}